This sheltering at home stuff is starting to get to me!
1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
2. I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
4. Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom.
5. PSA: every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believing all is well in the kingdom.
6. Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!
7. I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.
8. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog . . . we laughed a lot.
9. So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound life just find me or do I find them?
11. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
12. Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
13. I’m so excited . . . it’s time to take out the garbage. What to wear, what to wear?
14. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroomia.
15. Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks women with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
16. Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year. I was insulted!
And this one:Share