Sunday Funnies–An Atheist in the Woods

An  atheist was walking through the woods.

‘What majestic  trees!  What powerful rivers!  ‘What beautiful  animals!’ He said to himself.
As he was walking  alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind  him.  He turned to look.  He saw a 7-foot grizzly  bear charge towards him.  He ran as fast as he  could up the path.  He looked over his shoulder & saw  that the bear was closing in on him.  He looked over  his shoulder again, & the bear was even  closer.  He tripped & fell on the  ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw  that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his  left paw & raising his right paw to strike  him.  At that  instant moment, the Atheist cried out:  ‘Oh my  God!’

Time  stopped.  The bear froze.  The forest was  silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice  came out of the sky.  ‘You deny my existence for all these  years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to  cosmic accident.  Do you expect me to help you out of this  predicament?  ‘Am I to count you as a  believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light,  and said: ‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to  treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?’

‘Very well’, said the  voice.

The light went out.  The sounds of the forest  resumed.  And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both  paws together, bowed his head &  spoke:  ‘Lord bless this  food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ  our Lord, Amen.’


About the Author:

Cybersecurity analyst, pen-tester, trainer, and speaker. Serving small business owners in the St Paul, Minneapolis, and western Wisconsin area since 2001. Cybersecurity and hacking have been a passion of mine since I entered the computer and networking business in 2000. I hold several cybersecurity certifications including Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP), Certified Advanced Security Pratitioner (CASP), and Certified Ethical Hacker (CEH). Other computer industry certifications include A+, Network+ and Microsoft Certified System Engineer (MCSE). As Cybersecurity Analyst at The WyzCo Group, I help our clients experience high levels of security on their computers, networks, and websites. In addition to consulting on security products and services, we also conduct security audits, vulnerability assessments and full penetration tests. We also work with companies and organizations that need to certify compliance with regulations such as PCI-DSS (credit card processing), HIPAA/HITECH (medical records), and GLBA. We also provide Cybersecurity Awareness Training for clients and their employees. I am a frequent speakers at cybersecurity conferences such as the Minnesota Bloggers Conference, Secure360 Security Conference, the (ISC)2 World Congress, and the ISSA International Conference, and many local community organizations, Chambers of Commerce, SCORE, and several school districts. I have been blogging on cybersecurity since 2008.

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